"I LIKE SEX BUT..." BY IFEOLUWA KALEJAIYE

LOL…! If you are one of those who opened this article merely because of the title, I am rotflmao at you. Okay, calm down. Don’t go yet. You will enjoy this. According to my English teacher in high school, to begin an article like this, I must first of all define sex. But being in the century I am, it is quite and absolutely unnecessary. I am willing to bet a lot of money (my life savings even) on the fact that anyone who can read can define what sex is. Anyway, this isn’t an article *tongue out*. It’s a true life story. A story of a young lady I was opportuned to meet a few days back in New Kigo Extension, Kaduna. This is her story, and this is how she started:
“My name is Didi; I am 21, quite beautiful if I dare say so myself and I like sex but…” Sorry to cut the story there. I am just trying to practice my element of suspense in storytelling. Back to the story. “I like sex but that is not something you go about saying especially if you are not married. Of course judging from what I just said right now, one can easily conclude that I am not a virgin and that person will be correct. Let me just say that I did not ‘loose’ my virginity like the popular term goes. Mine was taken forcefully, way back when I was a kid. (Before you go feeling sorry for me-Not that it isn’t appreciated), I am past it now. Life goes on. Anyway, that is beside the point. Between when my virginity was taken and now, a lot of water has passed under the bridge. I have grown up and matured and discovered the many pleasures of sex. (For those really judgemental people who currently have their eyebrows raised and their faces squeezed, I don’t care because your opinion doesn’t actually matter. What’s done is done). As I was saying, I have discovered the pleasures of sex and I like it. Again, a statement like this probably makes me look like a ‘Ho’, but I am not. In fact, going by all ramifications, I am not even a bad person. I might like sex, but it doesn’t mean I sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry. As a matter of fact, in my 21 years of age, I can count the amount of men I have slept with on my fingertips (okay, well maybe including about five of my toes too). I don’t steal, I barely lie except when absolutely necessary, and I am actually doing impressively well in my academics. Some might even say that I am a model child in my generation. I don’t even smoke, drink; do drugs or anything of the likes. I dare say that a lot of parents would be proud to have me as their child. But I am not a virgin and I like sex and these are not things that are socially acceptable or religiously appropriate. They are things one shouldn’t dare be open about or show in any way. Even within age groups. This is mostly because we all like to keep the façade of decency. And there my dear, goes my dilemma”
There goes Didi’s dilemma and at least that of about 90% of every teenager to adolescent to early and maybe even late adults, all ranging from the ages of 15-35. Boys, girls, men, women, single or married who enjoy the art of love making, but go about lives of pretence because of the society, religion and the sort. People who ‘lost’, ‘gave’, ‘threw’ (whatever word you want to use) their virginity away. People, who yes, sometimes wish they could turn back the hand of the clock, but ultimately after all is said and done, enjoy having sex. Not because they are bad, corrupt or evil people, but simply because it is an emotional pleasure they enjoy having and feeling, over and over again. The dilemma, the questions on their minds is the same as Didi’s as she concluded her story to me. “All I am saying is why do I have to be 2 faced about it? Why all the farce? Why can’t I just be that person I want to be? Why can’t I have sex with a guy I am sexually attracted to even if maybe I am not ready to date him or settle down? Why does such afore mentioned behaviour automatically label me ‘bad’ or ‘prostitute’? Why does it immediately mean that I would be disrespected as an individual and any good virtue I poses quickly thrown out the window?”
As she concluded, I was silent. More so, because there were a thousand things running through my mind. I am not here to throw judgements or conclusions. I am merely here to make Didi’s questions and that of every person out there asking the same questions silently in their minds, available to y’all. I’m here to ask, no plead, that you help Didi and her like answer these questions to the best of your ability, right here, right now. Good luck!!!

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